Tabs Out

Takahiro Mukai – The Passion of Vojtek

1.11.19 by Ryan Masteller

[Looks around, scared.]

There was a bear, a real one.* They brought him from Iran, and, I don’t know, thought that he’d be fun to have around? It was a bear. How much fun could that possibly be?

[Takes deep drag from hand-rolled cigarette. Pinky finger flicks away tobacco fleck from bottom lip. Eyes look up, dart at noise of creaking chair; gaze returns to lap.]

It was wartime, what do I know? What does anybody know, it was crazy, it was crazy. There was a bear, and they named him Vojtek, and the only way they could bring him home was to conscript him. They were fools! Sure, he helped us move ammunition boxes around, he was useful for a while, but things began to change. They just began to shift, I dunno. Maybe it was the salmon drought, maybe it was the honey famine – look, all I know is that Vojtek grew more and more unruly, …

[Wipes brow, quickly takes short drag from cigarette, drums table with nervous fingers.]

And the blood! Oh the blood…

[Sobs.]

[Composes himself.]

I thought I had forgotten it. I thought I had forgotten the passion of Vojtek, but then, there’s this cassette tape! What do I do with this?

[Picks up tape, holds it out accusingly before slamming it back down onto the table, cracking off the connecting hinge of the Norelco case.]

Takahiro Mukai wasn’t even there. He wasn’t even there, yet he mocks us with this document, this “composition,” and I can’t sleep – I CAN’T SLEEP – and all the while I read these numbers and hear these clinical electronic sounds and I feel like I’m part of some kind of laboratory experiment, some kind of drug trial! What more do you want from me? Why can’t I leave?

[Stops. Takes a deep breath, then another long tug on the cigarette. Rubs bloodshot eyes.]

Oscillations. These rhythmic patterns conform to the dance of death, the “Passion of Vojtek” [Plaża Zachodnia] that I bore witness to. He snapped, he slaughtered my comrades, and it was so workmanlike, so mechanical. Takahiro Mukai is so removed, so far removed.

[Looks up. Eyes fix mine. A sliver of a grin appears at the corner of his mouth.]

But there is beauty in the dance, in the performance, in the ritual destruction. Does art imitate action here, or is the action informed by the art? Mukai…

[Shakes head.]

Brilliant. Counterbalanced. Surgical. No chaos, just containment, inevitability. He is juxtaposed against the proceedings, and the proceedings do not disappoint in their importance. There is one thing that I do know about all this, that I shake my head at every time I think about it: we should never have brought that bear back with us. Never.

[Lifts cigarette to lips. Inhales.]

*This account is an alternate universe representation of the story of Vojtek the bear. In our current historical timeline, Vojtek is much nicer and doesn’t kill anyone.

Various Artists – Splixtape
1.9.19 by Ryan Masteller

We take notice sometimes. We don’t have our heads so far crammed into the earth like ostriches that we are unaware of unusual instances that happen outside of our immediate frame of reference. No matter how often or how thoroughly some of us clean the HQ studio or pat ourselves on the back for it, our job remains the same: to report back to you on the rare and exciting occurrences coming to a boil on the hot stove of independent underground tape culture. We are heroes, in a sense.

And so it is today that we have something rare and exciting – a new tape label, fresh-faced and enthusiastic, not at all ground down yet by the rigors of its operation. Hypnic Jerk (great name) out of Birmingham, Alabama, a place I only know because I pass its exit sometimes on 75 when I’m heading north (otherwise the whole of Alabama is just a peripheral dream to me), is looking ahead to a perfectly stupendous 2019. In this season of year-end lists and other ephemeral nostalgic nonsense, Hypnic Jerk slides “Splixtape” across the counter with an icky wink, ensuring that they’ve made some kind of impression on us music writers who now wearily have to create a “2019 year-end list” Excel doc before 2018 even kicks the bucket.

But we’re not all such a cynical bunch (OK, sure we are, who am I kidding), so it is with some semblance of seasonal joy that I can report “Splixtape” is ACTUALLY worth starting up a new best-of list – its five tracks by four artists expand like atoms across the expanse after some bang of a big type. All four are legends in the long-form guitar/synthesizer evolution field, and all step up big time and deliver: Prana Crafter, ragenap, Tarotplane, and Horse Apples keep you hanging on every second of “Splixtape,” hoping against hope that you drift forever on their vibes. Ranging from celestial ambient to overdriven post rock (guitar only), you’ll find something for every itch you’ll ever need to scratch. Unless of course that itch is some sort of hip hop, metal, indie rock, R&B, vaporwave, EDM, Cheesecake, Afrobeat, etc. itch… that’s actually a lot of itches. You should go to the doctor.

You may have to wait till February 6 for the physicals to drop, but you can enjoy streaming “Splixtape” on Hypnic Jerk’s Bandcamp page right freaking now!