Tabs Out

Forget the Times – Winter Haven
1.8.19 by Ryan Masteller

Forget the Times is dangerous. Sure, their freeform skronk is as serrated and jagged and explosive as it gets, and the “collective” happens to employ one of their own for “guitar processing” (Josh Miller; core dudes Sean Hartman on guitar/tenor sax and Andrew Buczek on drums round out the band on this release), so you know it’s going to be at least a little noisy, a little unpredictable, a little perilous. Listen at your own risk kind of stuff. It’s up to you to chance it.

But Forget the Times is also sneaky, dropping a little botany lesson on us as they whip themselves into a frenzy over two long tracks, one per side, improvised to within an inch of chaotic self-destruction. (I can’t stress this enough – this is the kind of energetic output that caused all those Spinal Tap drummers to spontaneously combust; I’d be careful if I were Forget the Times.) On “Nasturtium Blues,” they’re down about this little edible thing (because “blues” signifies that something’s got you down). Maybe one of them had a urinary tract infection and nasturtium wasn’t doing it for them? Those infections are painful – I don’t blame anybody for savagely jamming for seventeen minutes because they were pissed at how bad one of them hurt. (Oops, shouldn’t say “piss” in this situation I guess!)

“Bergamot Swirl” is a psychedelic examination of the bergamot orange, a green, Ionian Sea lime-looking number that “tastes less sour than a lemon, but more bitter than a grapefruit.” First, I thought oranges were orange, so can someone clear that up please? Second, I like lemons and grapefruits, so I’ll be sure to try one of these when I can. Anybody brewing IPAs or anything with bergamots? Mixing them into smoothies? “Bergamot Swirl” is the sonic equivalent of the results of chugging a bergamot smoothie on a dare.

See? Dangerous: Forget the Times wants us to eat our fruits and our vegetables. And how’s Big Sugar gonna take that? Not sitting down, that’s for sure not how.

Avoid scurvy this wither over at NULL|Z0NE as they maintain some kind of healthy eating propaganda machine through sound. Edition of 50!

Dechirico – Please Don’t Let the Universe End Just Yet
1.7.19 by Ryan Masteller

This is the exact body of the email I wrote to my congressman just a couple of months ago:

Dear Congressman:

Please don’t let the universe end just yet.

Sincerely,
Ryan

How in the world did Dechirico know? How could there possibly have been overlap? Did Dechirico have access to my emails? Did I forget to properly password-protect my server? This could be a big deal – there’s been a lot of talk lately about the importance of emails and server safety. I don’t want to go to prison or anything.

Also in my email:

Dear Congressman:

Do you like krautrock? If you listened to some krautrock, maybe you’d mellow out a little bit.

Sincerely,
Ryan

… You’re seeing this too, right? I’m not going crazy? Look, we live in some strange times, but this is a little too close to the mark for my liking. How does Dechirico know I dig krautrock to such a degree that I’d risk making a fool of myself in front of my own congressman? And it’s true: I listen to Neu! an awful lot. Tangerine Dream. The old Vangelis stuff. Kraftwerk, duh. And Dechirico loves all these bands too, you can totally tell. Gleaming metallic rhythms, futuristic synthesizers, beauty in repetition. But there’s something about “Universe” that’s different, something fundamental that sets it apart …

It’s humanness.

That’s right, Dechirico has blood pumping in actual veins that lead to an actual heart; lungs inhale oxygen and exhale carbon monoxide. There’s a brain in which synapses fire instructions to various body parts. Chances are that Dechirico is either eating, sleeping, or taking a dump right at this very moment. Now THAT’S human. So instead of passionless robots, we’ve got a pulse, an emotive center in a being that cares just enough that it requests of someone, something to allow the universe to exist for just a little while longer. Maybe there’s something Dechirico has to do, or something Dechirico has to tell someone. At any rate, we can thank Dechirico for addressing this important question, putting it in writing, in song, right out there for anyone to heed.

Now, if someone could only reach the cold steel mechanism my congressman calls a heart, that would be great.

Grippity grip this tippity tip [tape] from Bonding Tapes!