PREVIEW! MrDougDoug – These Magical Numbers
11.3.16 by Mike Haley

The latest Five Thirty Eight polls-only forecast gives MrDougDoug’s election day release, “These Magical Numbers”, a 420% chance of finally bringing forth the reptilian revolution once and for all. Finally, through it’s patriotic plunderphonics of YouTube gallimaufry, we will know true scaly freedom. Systems will crumble. Sixty Nine shady contortions of the former “American” National Anthem will BLAST through Walmart’s in-store speaker systems. The ghost of Hendrix will be seen battling school children in dumpsters. Old women with “American” flag sweatshirts will be dropping acid at the 9/11 Memorial. Our new currency will be tiny slips of download codes, ones for this self-released cassette being worth aloooot of munnie!

Hot on the heels of his “SOS Forks AI REM” tape on Hausu Mountain, MrDougDoug continues his trek into absurd zones. On “These Magical Numbers”, Doug Kaplan crams a stupid amount of sound into a tiny space. The earlier mention of 69 National Anthem renditions was not a joke. On the track “69 Starspangled 420” there is literally audio from 69 different videos of the The Star-Spangled Banner ground into a fine paste over the course of a half hour. A thick mush of nationalism and anxiety that feels like walking on a soaking wet red, white, and blue shag carpet. You don’t have to be strapped to a chair with the pause button just out of reach to give this a proper listen, but you fucking should be. And it gets darker. MUCH darker. On another track, “182 In Reptiles We Trust 666”, MrDougDoug braids Mr. Donald J Trump saying the word “China” every way he knows how with him reading the poem “The Snake” at a campaign event. I don’t want to say anything else. I can’t say anything else. I just want to die, which we all will.

As I am writing this there are five days left to the Presidential election and the release of this tape. Those five days can’t go by fast enough. I need this fucking race to be over and this tape to exist. I can’t look at another Survey Monkey poll of college educated whites in Pennsylvania. I can’t look at Donald Jr’s face another second. I’m crying right now. MrDougDoug, you are our only hope.

Look for “These Magical Numbers” to drop on 11/8 at Dougie’s Bandcamp. Until then, Tabs Out has obtained a Wikileak of one of the tracks!