Xentone – Forensic Beats

10.25.19 by Ryan Masteller

There are several reasons why I’m the perfect person to tackle this tape: (1) I’ve watched a LOT of police procedurals – if it’s a TV show based on some sort of law enforcement agency cloaked in an initialism (e.g. CSI, New York, Miami, etc.), I’ve seen it; (2) I’ve watched a LOT of “X-Files” – see also point 1; (3) I’ve read that “Twin Peaks” book, the secret history one, so I know what classified files look like and what they contain. “Forensic Beats” by Xentone is a “homicide case file” from some unknown police department, and if I’m reading what’s going on correctly, I think we’ve stumbled upon some sort of superdetective who’s about to bust open a whole buttload of cold cases. Now THAT’S a show I’d watch.

Like Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes, Xentone is an absolute mastermind, parsing details that not only lay observers but also seasoned police veterans would miss. Ripping through things like “Cold Case 1” and “John Doe” alike, Xentone drips atmospheric electronic soundtrackery while slamming files down on the chief’s desk and yelling things like “You can’t ignore this new information, chief!” while the chief is all like, “Dammit Detective Xentone, I need more evidence!” Meanwhile, nefarious powers are at work, and all Detective Xentone can do after he’s stripped of his badge and gun (because you know that’s going to happen sooner or later) is to hunker down in his home lab and tinker with synthesizers and drum machines until he’s inspired to go behind the chief’s back and solve all the crimes off the book. The only thing he needs to figure out is how to sway the jury…

Anyway, “Forensic Beats” is a sci-fi/cop show smorgasbord, a blast for anyone who thought the “Fletch” soundtrack needed a twenty-first-century update. It did and it didn’t, but “Forensic Beats” is almost the perfect version necessary for our times, the best accompaniment for tracking down killers or finally getting that elusive lead that’s gonna bring the whole conspiracy out into the open. It’s like they brought on John Carpenter for NCIS: Los Angeles. Wouldn’t that be something!

Edition of 50 from Degenerate Trifecta. (Washington, eh? Speaking of Twin Peaks, you guys must know all about what went on there…)