Does The World Still Need Cassette Tapes Humans?
6.16.14 by Oreo C. Collins

With all this talk about Cassette Store Day and Limp Bizkit’s new album, a lot of people are wondering why cassettes are so popular if they’re obsolete.

But have you thought about humans? Sure, cassette technology is the same as it was 30 years ago, while more portable, more durable, and all around better mediums have sprouted. You may be baffled about why cassettes are suddenly all the rage with hipsters and hoarders. But have you thought about those hipsters and hoarders themselves? They are humans, which haven’t changed a bit since they were created almost 10,000 years ago!

It’s important to differentiate between random humans that litter the Earth and the ones close to you. Maybe you don’t want to get rid of family, friends, or the kid next door who always sets up your new computer in exchange for a pack of cigarettes. You can use these humans for things that are useful to you, like tax write-offs or human affection.

The question isn’t “is there a future for cassettes“, but rather is there a future for humans (yes, to a point) but if there should be a future for humans (no, there shouldn’t be, sheesh).

Oreo C. Collins advises that you should upgrade from the inferior format of humans immediately, and here are some reasons why.

Tapes don’t even rely on a welfare state when they get old.

It ends up that tapes aren’t the only thing that melt in a hot vehicle.

Sure, cassettes are made out of thin plastic, but humans are made out of fragile emotions.

 No matter how they’re organized, there are just too many humans.

Like really, have you tried listening to a person recently? It’s worse than Obama’s demilitarization strategy in Iraq.

And you don’t even have to change a tape’s diaper!

What are hipsters going to like next? Ronald Reagan? Probably not, but maybe!

Next!

Ditch the pinstripes and get with 2014! They probably call women “dames.”

At least you can hold a cassette at night.

 

Summer Always Summer – Philadelphia Reflections
6.13.14 by Jamie Orlando

Despite not being familiar with any of the three artists, my eyes lit up when I saw that “Hospital Productions Presents: Clay Rendering, Lussuria, Dual Action” was hitting Philly; The half way marker for the two week Summer Always Summer tour that started in Cleveland, shot out east, and wraps up tonight in Kentucky.  Hospital Productions is of course the infamous label run by noise guru Dominick Fernow, known primarily as Prurient. This label literally has hundreds of releases and has been going strong since ‘98, so I have mad respect for them. Tickets were only $10, and the allure of a Hospital Productions merch table featuring obscure, rare, and out-of-print Hospital releases pretty much sealed the deal for me.

On Friday, the 6th of June, 2014, myself and a small posse departed our humble state of Delaware for the city of Brotherly Love, slurped down some ramen at Terakawa Ramen (incredible), and then hit the gig which was at the First Unitarian Church: Side Chapel. For those that haven’t been blessed to see a show in this location, it is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: a gothic-looking church room, adorned with ornate wood, high ceilings, pews, a piano and an upper balcony with a church organ. It’s very small, probably only seating about 50-60, but an extremely intimate and vibey place to see a show.

As soon as doors opened, we went straight to merch to try to scoop up some weird and wacky tapes. There was all kinds of stuff there, including a brand new 6 cassette box set from Vatican Shadow. Only $100. Tempting, but unless you’re a diehard fan, methinks there’s better ways to spend $100. In fact most of the rare stuff was priced accordingly to what you might pay online. $70 for a single cassette? Well, some of us are not made of money, so we went for the cheaper stuff. Snagged some Prurient, Ash Pool, Mitochondrial DNA, Lussuria and a crazy looking double C110 comp entitled “White Eye Of Winter Watching” (this one was only $5, has an amazing lineup, and looks sharp in a double-wide case.)

After merch, we assembled in our pews, and the show started shortly thereafter. Dual Action came out first, treating us to about 5 minutes of suspenseful drones, before dropping some beats on us. Lo-fi, reverb-soaked, industrial beats that is. Dude was up there jamming HARD, and he really captivated the audience. The set was short and simple, under 20 minutes, and left us wanting more.

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Next came Lussuria. His set was a bit darker and was the personal highlight of the show for me. With nothing more than a few pedals, a microphone and a sampler pad, he created rich textures, eerie drones, demented vocals, and some more of those tasty lo-fi, reverb-soaked, industrial beats. I’m sensing a theme here. Again, another short set; less than 20 minutes. He ended the set by leaving stage for about 2 minutes while the samples looped and the reverb decayed, which was a nice touch.

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Finally, Clay Rendering, the headliner, took the stage. The little I know about them is that it is a husband and wife duo of Mike Connelly and Tara Connelly. Mike is mainly known for his work in Wolf Eyes, but has a ton of other projects. This set was quite a bit different in that there were actual songs, with actual lyrics. Mike played guitar and sang, while Tara played the accordion and occasionally a keyboard. Of course, all the instruments were drenched in effects to give it somewhat of a shoegazey aura. The songs were heavy and full of emotion. More lo-fi, reverb-soaked industrial beats as well. For one short interlude, Tara went over to the church piano and played some haunting melodies. I kind of wish she had played that huge church organ. In fact, I wish ANYONE had played that thing. C’mon guys. Talk about a missed opportunity. I digress. So the Clay Rendering set was actually really good. As is the norm for a headliner, they played longer than the openers, though only for about 15 minutes longer, which makes it one of the shortest headlining sets I’ve ever seen. But you know what? Good for them. I am a fan of short sets. And for a $10 show, we still got our money’s worth.

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Being that all 3 sets were so short, we actually got out of there pretty early. Had to use some willpower to walk by the merch table again without getting more swag. The LPs were just begging me to buy them, but I exercised some restraint, and declined. For now. Kudos to all the performers, and for Hospital Productions for putting on a fine show. Hope to hear much more from this label and these artists in the future. In the meantime, please go over to https://hospitalproductions.net and buy some of their stuff. You will not be let down.

Now lets quickly talk about some of the tapes I picked up:

Lussuria – Immemorial (Hospital Productions) 2014
I was surprised to hear that this sounded a bit different from his live set. Much more atmospheric and ambient. 2 cassettes chock full of haunting drones, packaged in a paper envelope, only available on tour dates. If you can find it, grab it!

Mitochondrial DNA – Powercrash (Hospital Productions) 2012
Super harsh jams between Dominick Fernow and Mike Connelly. C10. Short and tasty.

Ash Pool – Cremation Is Irreversible (Of Crawling Shadows Records) 2012
Awesome black metal. As lo-fi as can be. Not usually my thing, but this brought a huge grin to my face when I turned it on. Clipping guitars, blast beats, thundering vocals, the whole shebang. A nice little short C10. Project between Dominick Fernow and Kris Lapke.

Mitochondrial DNA – Strawberry Sugar Zeros (Hospital Productions) 2012
Another shorty of harsh noisy jams.

Prurient – Time’s Arrow (Hydra Head Records) 2011
This is a pretty mellow one. Minimal, chill, industrial vibes. Occasional samples thrown in. A little crazier and noisier on the B side. Overall, really sick.

Various Artists – White Eye Of Winter Watching (Hospital Productions) 2011
I got this for 5 bucks, and it’s TWO C110s, with a whopping total of 52 tracks, from a whole laundry list of your favorites.

Ash Pool – For Which He Plies The Lash (Hospital Productions) 2010
Another cool black metal album by Ash Pool in similar vein. A little more variety on this one, but still sounds crappy as ever (in a good way). This one is much longer than the aforementioned.

Visit The Crystal World By Way Of Cassette
6.11.14 by Mike Haley

Dwellers of the ominous avant-metal underbelly are undoubtedly familiar with Locrian.  André Foisy and Terence Hannum, who together ran the now defunct Land Of Decay imprint, have been forging post-apocalyptic soundtracks under the name for close to ten years.  In 2010 drummer Steven Hess came on board and the band released The Crystal World 2xCD/LP for Utech Records. That drone-laden, bleak metal monument is now getting a double cassette reissue.

The tape version will be limited to 100 copies and is set to come out July 12th. Utech is taking preorders now at $17 a pop. You can also grip it with the double disc, if for some reason you still have a CD player.

“A marked change had come over the forest, as if dusk had begun to fall. Everywhere the glacé sheaths which enveloped the trees and vegetation had become duller and more opaque. The crystal floor underfoot was occluded and gray, turning the needles into spurs of basalt. The brilliant panoply of colored light had gone, and a dim amber glow moved across the trees, shadowing the sequined floor. At the same time it had become considerably colder.

The Crystal World, the third studio album from Locrian, is an epic journey. Titled after JG Ballard’s 1964 novel that tells the story of a physician who specializes in leprosy sent to a remote African outpost to discover a jungle that is slowly crystallizing and encroaching upon everything it touches. Disc one comprises six tracks while disc two consists of one extended piece, Extinction, that picks up on the intensity of disc one and sustains it for close to an hour. On The Crystal World, Terence Hannum, and André Foisy, are joined by Steven Hess (On, Pan American, Ural Umbo) on percussion and electronics. Hess’ contribution pushes Locrian deeper into the abyss of despair rendering a sound that is darker, bleaker, and engulfing than any of the group’s previous releases. Locrian continue the conceptual trajectory of blackened drone that the group initially embarked on during their first studio album Drenched Lands (2009). Masters of layering, The Crystal World finds the group manipulating tones and textures that transport the listener to an apocalyptic wasteland. At times, the layers are serene and somber, at other times they are chaotic.

The Crystal World is Locrian’s essential release, finding the band creating a sound all of their own. A sound that evades simplistic analogies to black metal, power-electronics, noise, or other categories. This is the album that will stun fans of the bands previous works with how far the group has come from their early releases.”

Stream the album below, sans the nearly hour long track Extinction, available only on the CS/CD versions.

Shingles – Tone Colors Vid
6.9.14 by Mike Haley

This isn’t news. Shit, it’s not even new. But I just saw it, and thought it was great, and I think you will too (I didn’t rhyme that on purpose). What we have here is a 2 minute video “made” by Jesse Derosa (Grasshopper/Baked Tapes/Twizzlers enthusiast) for an unreleased Shingles jam called Tone Colors. Shingles being Jesse’s next-level solo project. The video isn’t even for the entire cut, just a portion of it, but it’s still great. I’ve watched it about 20 times in the past 24 hours and I liked it every time. I don’t know, maybe I’m an idiot…

The footage is from the 1984 Lucio Fulci flick The House By The Cemetery. Watch it.

Now Serving Snow Broth
6.5.14 by Mike Haley

From All In The Family came The Jeffersons. Happy Days begat Mork And Mindy. Now Rotifer Cassettes is getting into the spin off game with their latest endeavor Snow Broth. Described as “a big puddle of art, music, and the written word”, Snow Broth launched with two cassette releases and a grip of kaleidoscopicly appetizing prints for sale.

The cassettes, both pro-dubbed and editions of 100, are breezy, outsider-vacation soundtracks by Low-Key and Euglossine. Available for a $7 grip, complete with digital download access through unique codes. The Low-Key (aka: L.A.’s Mychal Alva) jam is a C20 titled “Soft”. Tristan Whitehill’s Euglossine release is a 50 minute long-player called “Tropical Popsicle”. So juicy. Dig into some samples……. Here! Go!

Over in the Broth’s Art Shop you’ll find a bunch of limited, yumyum-based, brain melter collage prints by Juli Toro. Nutty amalgams of flowers and foodstuffs in smallish editions, available in the $15 zone, with names like Shramp, Puddin’, and Ham Stack. Cue the image in your head of Homer Simpsons drooling and saying “Mmmmmmm. Haaaam Staaacks”. Suitable for framing/eating.

Head on over to Snow Broth’s home on the net to dig into the newness and keep track of future activity.

Are You One Of God’s Powers?
6.3.14 by Tabs Out

Calling all weirdos. We’re putting together a cassette compilation to be released as part of our Subscription Series based on that crazy ass picture right above this text. Ya see it? Of course you do. How the fuck could you miss it?? The name of the compilation will be GOD’S POWER and we want everyone to submit a track. Here is all you gotta do.

1. Pick a name for your project/band/whatever from the list on that sign.

• Gonorrhea
• Strong Penis
• Bilhazia
• Piles
• Typhoid
• Diabeties
• Stroke
• Waist Pain
• White Hernia
• Headache
• Malaria
• Night Witches
• Smelling Mouth
• Opposite Electrician

2. Create any sort of track your heart (or strong penis, or smelling mouth) desires. There are no restrictions on styles, lengths, file formats, etc… You can do ANYTHING you want. This isn’t exactly the most intellectual of endeavors, so get as fucking weird as ya’d like to get.

3. Give the track a title and email it to us (contact@s935781125.onlinehome.us)

That’s it. You’re done! After we get tracks for every name listed the Tabs Out team will sort through them and pick our favorite for each one, and that will be the final comp. There is no deadline or limit on how many tracks you can submit. Send in 5 for White Hernia. Send in 2 for Waist Pain and 4 for Malaria. Fuck, send in a track for each name. It doesn’t matter. This is a chill undertaking and will hopefully be pretty fun for all involved.

Everyone who ends up on the cassette will get a copy, along with all the currently enrolled Chrome Donators at the time of it’s release. Go!

Who/What/When/Where/Why Is Plastik Tonez?
5.30.14 by Mike Haley

I’m a big supporter of the peculiar and weirdo-ambiguous shit that pops up on the net. Like those 11 second bleepzoid shape videos on YouTube or the heyday of Horse ebooks. It’s a swell time. I also enjoy (spoiler alert) cassettes. So I was somewhat intrigued when back in May I started receiving cryptic emails from Jehu & Chinaman with subject lines like P̡̲̟̭L̀A̶͢͡S̶̀͜T͝͝I̷̵͘͢K̸͜͠͏ TOṈ̹͇͔̼E̡̡͝Z̸̀͟͟͝ ? and P̩͓̺̺̼̱̬LͅA̡̛͛͂́S͎̥͍͚̼̩̳TIK͏́͘͝͡ TO̡͟͜͡Ǹ̶̢̡EZ̶ ? with even less information in the body. Random (at least to me) images and “SOON” was pretty much all that was being transmitted. Truthfully I was less intrigued and more annoyed, assuming that someone Heartbleeded the shit out of J&C’s email account and was bogging me down with a bunch of glitched out spam. Then, wouldn’t ya know it, a cassette tape was released proving Plastik Tonez to be a series of some sort.

That tape, the first in the series, is by Justin Wiggan. A dude known for his Roadside Picnic project. It was (I say “was” because apparently copies were gone in about an hour) titled Sheer Heart Attack and made in an edition of just ten copies. All the impending installments will also be dubbed in the same dwarfed quantities and, as their Bandcamp says, “ONCE THEY’RE GO̡͐̿ͨNE =̵͊ͫ̈͟ THEY’RE GO̡͐̿ͨNE.”

Label exec Steve Dewhurst isn’t announcing any of the upcoming tapes in the PT series, but says there are clues lingering if you look. “You can work out what the tapes will be [if] you can be bothered to decode certain elements.”… Whatever that means. This all comes across very LOST-like to me. Hopefully we don’t find out that all the tapes were blank the entire time and Locke didn’t have to push the play button every 108 minutes. Here is one of the videos “promoting” Plastik Tonez #2. Have a blast figuring out what it is.

You can keep up with Plastik Tonez’ obscure communications through Facebook and the Jehu & Chinaman site.

Journey To The Edge Of Your Bank Account
5.30.14 by Mike Haley

Well-to-do zoners and New Age tycoons take note. As of the moment I’m writing this you have approximately 48 hours to become the proud owner of an Upper Astral seven cassette lot. Ebay member, and future continuing owner, rodd707 is attempting to sell off these 1980’s psychedelic gems for a cool $1,800.00. Surprisingly enough, no buyer has stepped up with the cash, or the cash equivalent in crystals or space dust, to take em home. It may have something to do with the $3.00 shipping fee Rodd has tacked onto the sale, which, if you ask me, is pushing it. I mean, I’m totally cool with dishing out almost 2 grand for seven cassette tapes so Mr.707 can get his aura detailed or whatever. But why am I going to pay three bucks to have humans drive the tapes to me? Hey, USPS, ever hear of mental teleportation? Media mail doesn’t hold a candle to bending space and time. Duh.

The seven cassettes, all released byValley Of The Sun, are:
Upper Astral Suite, 1981
Manifestation, 1981
Crystal Cave (Back To Atlantis), 1982
Skybirds, 1982
Higher-Self Rendezvous, 1983
Entrance To The Secret Lagoon, 1983
Journey To The Edge Of The Universe, 1983

Brilliant fucking music, but $1,800? Hmmmmm. While you get your affairs in order and talk over this investment with the 24-hour Quicken help line, fade out to Celestial Harmonies from Journey To The Edge Of The Universe below. But please, if you do, Paypal us some scratch. Nothing major, just a hundo or so.

All the Immeasurable Things; Caroline Says
5.29.14 by Ian Franklin

I was never a huge fan of the “King”. I mean, if you’re asking me, the dude had a couple good moves, made an OK Christmas album, but that was about it. “50,000,000 Elvis Fans Can’t Be Wrong” is the title of the new album from Caroline Says, the project of Texas singer-songwriter Caroline Sallee, released jointly through Noumenal Loom and Happenin Records and even though this record sounds nothing like “Elvis the Pelvis”, I’m pretty sure a fair amount of those 50,000,000 would enjoy this wonderful release of sweetly crafted pop Americana.

Released in an edition of 100 pro-dubbed Chrome tapes, these 9 tracks sway and swim down dusty roads through half sunlit destinations. Perfectly laid out and cohesive, each song carries a constant feeling of measured assurance. Song structures feel unforced and relaxed without being wandering. Verse – chorus – verse is barely present on any of these “Winter is Cold” kicks the album off with a welcoming picked acoustic guitar, instantly setting the mood of the whole album in the first 30 seconds. 

Then Caroline’s voice enters. With a syrupy smoothness and a calm confidence she effortlessly flows through longing, missed opportunities and the fragility of a cold winter alone; retreating at the end into the comfort of the opening soothing melody.tracks but it feels all the more better for it. The whole album has a flow about it that is undeniable.

“Funeral Potatoes” looms with its minor keyed piano melody drifting through the somber drone behind it. Backing vocal tracks sweetly stacked on top of each other, a tactic she uses frequently throughout the album with great success, finally resolving in a growing wave of nostalgic backwards and looped melodies (the cello-like resonance of a stretched and processed guitar). Flowing and blooming over itself in a perfectly contained microcosm.

With an expert ability for vocal effervescence, song crafting and mood, Caroline Says delivers a fantastically life-reflective summer companion. The kind you meet and fall for and spend many beautiful moments with before it’s suddenly over; the afterburn still lingering.

Stream the album below and pick up the tape from Noumenal Loom’s bandcamp or Happenin Record’s store.

Two-Sided Gay Shape
5.20.14 by Mike Haley

I don’t really know which shapes are gay. I guess an inverted pink triangle would be the obvious one. That and the experimental trio of Mickey O’Hara, Abdul Sherzai and Joe Bastardo. Who late last night made available their latest Gay Shapes cassette, a self titled, 50ish minute workout on Bastardo’s Moss Archive label. The two side-long tracks are exercises in restraint and casual peculiarity as the three… Massachusians?? Massachusianites?? … dudes from Massachusetts deliberately leak Doctor Whoish cosmic wobbles,  sharp Atari-mode pings, and soapy undercurrents. All of the sounds drip in moderation, some lingering for a tad, others stopping by for a brief, animated cameo. The black and white artwork is equally as minimal and matches the sci fi vibe well with it’s crudely menacing obelisk and floating eyeball.

This sucker is available in an edition of 50 home dubbed copies and can be picked up for a cool $5 (or more) here. Each member of Gay Shapes has also released solo material on Moss Archives, O’Hara and Sherzai under their names, and Joe Bastardo under the Bastian Void moniker. All sold out from the label, but definitely worth tracking down if you can. Stream the s/t jam, in full, below.